Go, no stay.

I'm torn.  I have a history of struggling with making decisions, but a lot of the time that's because it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other, like Wendy's or Burger King?... I'll roll either way.  When it comes to the big ticket items, I'm usually better at it.  But not always.

We're in the season of our life where we are seriously looking to simplify, and since I can't seem to talk Gord into living off the land in the jungles of Borneo, I'm gonna have to figure out a way to do that closer to home.  There is a problem in this... the economy being in the dumpster for one, and the concept of 'downsizing' in another.  Gord would like to live in a one bedroom condo where we have no responsibilities in regards to  yard work and outside maintenance.  I could live with that I think... or could I?  Firstly there is the privacy issue and the beauty of having it in a home.  Then there is the space... this is where it gets sticky.  I like my space. I like having my little piece of outdoors that I can call my own... plus, we have a kick ass view of the lake.  I like that my neighbours aren't within arms reach to me, that we have a yard for the dogs to play in and that we have room for our memorabilia, but mostly I like having someplace my boys can come home to and not have to sleep on the floor.  Same for visitors.  Is that so wrong?? Still, I can't deny that the simplicity of a condo appeals.  Just to lock (door) and load (luggage) with no worries... I could handle that.  The other negative that I can't seem to get my head around is in the discrepancy of housing costs; for us to sell and move into something  smaller with no yard, no privacy and with a decent design costs as much, and sometimes more than what we could get for our house.  That, my friends, is just not right.

I ran into the same problem when looking to buy a wee beater to drive around town in... they wanted twice the price for the tiny tin cans as they did for a full sized, loaded car!  Huh...say what? That is truth. Now you know why I drive a mid sized, old lady sedan with power everything!  Sure it ages me, but it feels good, it runs great, and it has some weight to it so I don't worry about being crushed or blown off the road.  Ok... it may take a bit more gas than the small fry, but I only use it when needed, otherwise we drive the environmentally and fiscally friendly Prius, thus ensuring I don't lose sleep at night worrying about my carbon footprint.

So, here I sit, still stuck in the unknown.  We found a house in Camrose that used to be a Presbyterian Manse, then a Funeral home, then an office of some kind.  Built in 1903.  Needs TLC.  Sounds like a money pit... I think we should buy it.  If we trot on back to Alberta we will be close to Dan, my sister, my niece and nephew and assorted other family... that's the upside.  The downside? 1) It's Alberta.  2) Freakin' cold. 3) Oily; possibly toxic. 4) Further away from Simon (unless he decides to follow). 5) Often smells like cow.  So the only way we could pull it off would be to have a trailer in Arizona and hunker down with all the other old Albertans for 6 months and pray we don't get car jacked or shot at or have to visit a Doctor.  Plus, who wants to house sit in Camrose... in the winter... see how complicated it's becoming?

In conclusion, I am no further ahead by writing about it than before.  I kinda hoped by seeing it mapped out I would have this 'eureka' moment and my future would all come sharply into focus.  Humph.  Not so much.  

So, the question remains the same: to quote the lyrical words of The Clash circa 1982, 'Should I Stay or Should I Go'?