It's hard to come here and talk about superficial things when there is so much hurt going on around you. It's hard not to feel all that grief and still stay positive. The last week has been one of multiple loss, and the pain is palpable. The sudden, unexpected passing of Dan's friends, of a friends mother and of a political warrior all stacked one atop another weighs heavy. Though we all will entertain death, there is something about a death that comes too early or too suddenly that disturbs.
We all seem to have the expectation of living long, especially now in this age of advanced medicine and technology, yet no where is it promised to us. At some level we all understand that, but when things go sideways and the potential for death looms near, we frantically cry out to God, making promises and wheeling deals in order to avoid our end. Are we so afraid of death we'd sell our souls for another shot at life? I dunno... I've often asked myself if I am afraid to die and I keep coming up with the same answer. No. It's not the cessation of life that I fear, it's the pain and suffering that most often precedes it. I fear separation from my friends and family, (though I'm confident I'll see them again) and the grief they will feel at my passing. However what I fear the most is the idea that my life will not leave a mark, that I didn't live it in such a way that I won't leave a footprint to remember me by. Does that sound incredibly self absorbed? It does, doesn't it... I guess it's because I see how, as a society, we so quickly move from grief to daily living. Life moves too fast to stop and linger anymore. Gone are the days of wearing black while being in a state of mourning for a year. We've lost that... we've lost the art of mourning. There's something sad about that.
I hope to be more aware of how I honor those who've gone before. I will mourn you Scott... Jack... Mrs. McConnell. You will not be forgotten.
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