7 at 27

 I hate this...

Robert Johnson - Aug. 1938; Brian Jones - July 1969; Jimi Hendrix - Sept. 1970; Janis Joplin - Oct. 1970; Jim Morrison - July 1971; Kurt Cobain - Apr. 1994.   And now... Amy Winehouse - July 2011

The curse has struck once again.  A 7th member of the '27 Club' has been added leaving us saddened, but not surprised, angry but powerless, guilty but apologetic.  It's never easy loosing people who share incredible talent, but to lose them so young, with so much more to create seems doubly painful.  You mourn not only for the person but for the art they left unfinished, all the songs unsung.  This, coupled with the way they died makes it seem so pointless.  You keep asking yourself the question, 'why'?  Why today... this day, when the sun is shining and the sky is blue and life is, if not good, bearable.  Yet you know deep down, that this day would come and angry that even in knowing, it would catch you off guard. 

Addiction is a horrid, life destroying affliction.  It chews people up and spits them out beaten and burned.  And yet, in a tragic twist of irony, allows for some of the most critically important creativity, especially in the musical arena.  Is it because of the pain these artists struggle with that makes them so prolific, or is it the drugs taken to dull this pain that stokes the creative fires?  Either way, the gift is a direct result of the internal pain and turmoil that these artists struggle so hard with.  And in the case of Amy, as with the others in the '27 Club', the addiction eventually suffocates the creativity and the disease starts to define them.  In the end, they are unable to hear or see any way of redemption and the addiction wins.

I have a brother who is an addict... at least I think I still have a brother.  He disappears for years at a time, moving around so we have no idea where he is living or how to contact him.  He happened to call my sister 3 years ago to ask her to help get him some vicoden for some phantom pain, and she had to tell him NO, she couldn't do that and oh, by the way, our dad had died... 2 years before.  We couldn't find him to let him know... We've heard nothing since, nor do we expect to, unless of course it is the police wanting us to identify the body.  Addiction kills more than just the addict.  It destroys relationships, it destroys one's ability to trust.  Our family had extented countless kindnesses and support, only to have it repaid in lies and manipulation.  Still, I often wonder why?... why him and not any of the rest of us since we all grew up in the same family?  I think Bruce decided early on that he was a victim and used that as his reasons to justify his drug and alcohol abuse. He was never able to break from that belief system. There are things we'll never know.

I know Amy was in pain... it was obvious to all.  I also know that many, many people reached out to her and tried to help.  She had the love and support of her parents and brother, her ex-husband and current boyfriend, her many, many close friends and the people she worked with along with millions of fans around the world.  The problem is that help needs to come from within, and that takes work, incredible courage, pain and perseverance.  And to do that one needs to accept there is an addiction and help is needed to conquer it.  For whatever reason, she couldn't pull that off, and now it is we who are left behind that suffer.

Now the pain is over.  In peace may she truly rest.